“Always remember your Focus determines your Reality” – George Lucas
The past 16 years have taught me how powerful our thoughts are in the healing journey.
This is not to minimize Crohn’s disease, leukemia or immunodeficiency because they are very real conditions that require medical attention. But I have learned, first hand, how much influence our thoughts have over our health.
These days I am focusing on what my immune system is capable of and how strong I can get instead of thinking about deficiency.
Staying in the moment, visualizing health and speaking peaceful words of wholeness over my body have become healing tools I use regularly.
And while I know how to do these things, while I know they work and they help me stay well, I fail to do them consistently.
This life stuff is hard. You know it is too. It can be incredibly messy and burdensome in ways we did not imagine possible. And whatever burden you bear, it can sneak up and get the best of you no matter how strong your faith or mental fortitude.
March was one of those months for me. I caught an infection and while it was certainly not the sickest I have ever been, I felt like giving up.
Since I am allergic to the traditional medical treatment for immunodeficiency, my choice to prevent infection is to rely on lifestyle and a nutrient dense diet. When I got sick in March all I could see was a concrete gray wall in front of me with no path forward. I was grief-stricken, depressed and felt hopeless.
Gratefully my oncologist and one of the Physician’s Assistants from my Primary Care Doctor’s office recognized that I was at the giving up stage. They worked with me to develop some new strategies to try to boost my immune system which are outside of the box of traditional medicine.
They started me on Bovine Colostrum which is rich in immunoglobulins. Immunoglobulins are the part of my immune system that are deficient from years of chemotherapy. I am allergic to the medical supplement for immunoglobulin deficiency which is derived from plasma. However, I tolerate the Bovine Colostrum without any difficulties. I have been taking it for a month and my body is so much stronger.
Over the past month, I have been able to go out and socialize more than I have in the past 2-1/2 years. And it has been so much fun! The Hubs and I are enjoying things we used to take for granted like easy days at restaurants, live music and even drinks at sidewalk cafes without serious concern.
Last March I allowed fear to trump hope. One of the most harmful things fear does is that it skews our perspective.
Ironically, once I regained my sense of hope a picture from a year ago popped up in my Facebook memories. My father had taken the photo of us celebrating my 44th birthday. It was a hard and sad birthday because I had just come through the allergic reaction to the IVIG treatment.
When I saw the picture from a year ago and compared it to this year’s birthday picture I was reminded of the power fear has to skew reality. There is no denying that I am significantly better this year than a year ago.
As I often say, healing happens in baby steps and it can feel like we are not moving forward but we are.